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Stoicism 4 – Week 6: Review

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This week: look back over the past five weeks, keep what fits your life at home and at work, and leave what does not.

Measurable goal: rate the five habits (0–10), choose two to keep and do them on at least 5 of 7 days.

1. Traditional teaching

[Traditional teaching] Stoicism teaches that philosophy is tested in everyday life: in how we work, and how we treat our family, colleagues and strangers. The two lines below from Marcus Aurelius have already appeared in the course; this week read them again together.

In the morning when thou risest unwillingly, let this thought be present,—I am rising to the work of a human being.

Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (Meditations), Meditations, book V, section 1, first sentence (read in Week 1; Long’s "--" written as "—"), George Long. Licence: Public domain.

Adapt thyself to the things with which thy lot has been cast: and the men among whom thou hast received thy portion, love them, but do it truly [sincerely].

Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (Meditations), Meditations, book VI, section 39 (read in Week 4), George Long. Licence: Public domain.

Reading it in context

  • This course chose the parts of Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius that fit family life and work today, and said clearly where it does not follow them: working without eating or sleeping (Week 1), the treatment of slaves in Roman times (Week 3), submitting to a father who strikes you (Week 4).
  • [Verified] A 2022 study (Karl et al.) found that reading Stoicism as "suppressing emotions" goes with lower well-being. The course as a whole does not aim to make you feel less; it aims to help you choose your words and actions.
  • If an exercise does not suit you right now, dropping it is a good choice.

2. What science finds

  • [Verified] A meta-analysis of 33 studies of self-control training programmes: a small effect (g = 0.30), smaller still after correcting for publication bias. (Friese et al. 2017)
  • [Inference] In other words: don’t expect a big change after six weeks. Keeping two small habits regularly is probably more realistic than trying to keep all five.
  • No study has evaluated this course directly. Rely on what you have noticed yourself over the five weeks.

3. Practice for adults

About 15 minutes the first time, then in step with daily life.

  1. Read slowly (3 minutes). Read the two passages.
  2. Rate the five habits (10 minutes, once). Score each from 0 (no help) to 10 (a lot of help), with one line of reasons: - Week 1 – Naming "human work" each morning, a break away from work each evening. - Week 2 – A delay when annoyed. - Week 3 – Seeing the person behind the job title of the people you work with. - Week 4 – One task from a role at home, 10 full minutes with family. - Week 5 – Drawing someone in an outer circle one circle closer.
  3. Choose two habits to keep (5 minutes). Ideally one at home and one at work. Write down when in the day you will do them.
  4. Tell someone. Tell someone at home or a colleague which two habits you chose. Ask them to check in with you now and then.
  5. Note it (2 minutes, evening). Did I do the two habits? What helped, what got in the way?

4. Kids' corner 6+

Game: "My two jobs" (5–10 minutes, with an adult)

  1. With your child, look back at the course’s games: "Everyone has a job", "Red light, amber light, green light", "Little reporter", "Our home", "My circles".
  2. Ask: "Which game did you like best? What do you want to keep doing?"
  3. The child chooses two things (for example: watering a plant each morning, remembering the amber light when cross). Draw them on a sheet of paper and stick it somewhere easy to see.
  4. The adult also chooses two things of their own and draws them alongside.

Praise the child when they do it; don’t punish them when they forget.

5. Stop practising if

  • You feel panic, have traumatic flashbacks, a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", many sleepless nights, or thoughts of harming yourself.
  • Rating yourself turns into blaming yourself. Then skip the scoring and choose just the easiest habit.
  • You are facing violence, threats or harassment at home or at work. Your safety comes before any exercise.
  • In that case stop practising and see Get help now.

6. Foundation skills on daynentang

To keep your two habits after the course, daynentang has a lesson: Một việc nhỏ có ý nghĩa mỗi ngày (One small meaningful thing a day; in Vietnamese).

7. Practice for today

Write down the two habits you are keeping, one at home and one at work, and the time you will do them.

Science sources

  • Friese M, Frankenbach J, Job V, Loschelder DD (2017). Does self-control training improve self-control? A meta-analysis. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 12(6), 1077–1099. doi:10.1177/1745691617697076
  • Karl JA, Verhaeghen P, Aikman SN, Solem S, Lassen ER, Fischer R (2022). Misunderstood Stoicism: The negative association between Stoic ideology and well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 23(7), 3531–3547. doi:10.1007/s10902-022-00563-w

Scripture sources

  • Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (Meditations) – George Long (Public domain) · link