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Stoicism 3 – Week 1: Old age and each day

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Before you start this course: this is a level 3 course that deals directly with old age, loss and death in the Stoic writers. If you are newly bereaved, seriously ill or caring for someone who is seriously ill, please save this course for another time. If you are having thoughts of dying or harming yourself, this course is not for now: please see Get help now and talk to someone you trust.

This week: practise closing each day fully. Each evening write the sentence "Today I have lived" and three lines: one thing I did well, one thing I valued, one thing I would like to do if I am given tomorrow.

Measurable goal: write "Today I have lived" and all three lines of review, on at least 5 of 7 evenings.

1. Traditional teaching

[Traditional teaching] Stoicism teaches that old age and death are part of nature, and that living well means using each day we have to the full. In Letter 12, Seneca (about 4 BCE – 65 CE) describes a visit to his country house: the building is crumbling, the trees he planted himself have grown old, and he suddenly sees that he himself has grown old. From there he writes about old age and about each day.

I owe it to my country-place that my old age became apparent whithersoever I turned. Let us cherish and love old age; for it is full of pleasure if one knows how to use it. Fruits are most welcome when almost over; youth is most charming at its close;

Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales), Letter 12 "On old age", excerpt, Richard M. Gummere (Loeb, 1917–1925). Licence: Public domain.

“But,” you say, “it is a nuisance to be looking death in the face!” Death, however, should be looked in the face by young and old alike. We are not summoned according to our rating on the censor’s list. Moreover, no one is so old that it would be improper for him to hope for another day of existence. And one day, mind you, is a stage on life’s journey.

Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales), Letter 12, excerpt, Richard M. Gummere (Loeb, 1917–1925). Licence: Public domain.

Let us, however, do from a good motive what he used to do from a debased motive; let us go to our sleep with joy and gladness; let us say: I have lived; the course which Fortune set for me Is finished. And if God is pleased to add another day, we should welcome it with glad hearts. That man is happiest, and is secure in his own possession of himself, who can await the morrow without apprehension. When a man has said: “I have lived!”, every morning he arises he receives a bonus.

Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales), Letter 12, excerpt, Richard M. Gummere (Loeb, 1917–1925). Licence: Public domain.

Reading it in context

  • "The censor’s list": in Rome, the censors grouped citizens by age and property. Seneca means that death does not come in order of age.
  • "He" is Pacuvius, a governor of Syria. According to Seneca, he held a mock funeral feast for himself every evening. Seneca criticises Pacuvius’ motive and keeps only the idea of "closing the day fully". This course does not practise any mock funeral.
  • [Expert judgement] "God" and "Fortune" here follow Stoic ideas: a divine reason running through the universe, and the order of nature. They should not be equated with the God of Christianity or of another religion.
  • [Expert judgement] At the end of Letter 12, Seneca quotes Epicurus and discusses a person’s ability to leave life by their own choice. The Stoic writers accepted this in some circumstances. tamhonkhoe does not quote or follow those passages. This course is about living each day fully. If you have thoughts of dying, that is a time to get help from a person, not a topic to reflect on alone: please see Get help now.
  • "Fruits are most welcome when almost over" is like the last lychees of the season in Vietnam: delicious and precious because they are nearly gone.

2. What science finds

  • [Verified] A meta-analysis of 128 controlled trials of reminiscence and life-review programmes: depressive symptoms fell by a moderate amount (g = 0.57) and the sense of one’s life as whole (ego-integrity) rose by a moderate amount (g = 0.64); general well-being rose by a small amount (g = 0.33). Most participants were older adults, and programmes were usually guided. (Pinquart & Forstmeier 2012)
  • [Inference] The "closing the day" exercise here is shorter and different from those programmes. Their results do not prove this exercise works the same way. No study has evaluated Seneca’s evening habit directly.

3. Practice for adults

About 30 minutes a day.

  1. Slow reading (5 minutes). Read the third passage. Read the words "I have lived" aloud.
  2. The circles of time (10 minutes, once this week). Seneca divides life into circles within circles: the whole of life, youth, childhood, a year, a month, and the smallest circle, one day. Draw five circles inside each other. In each, write one thing that matters to you in that span of time. Leave the innermost circle ("today") empty and fill it in this evening.
  3. Sit and look back on the day (10 minutes, evening). Sit comfortably and recall the day from morning to evening like watching a film, without scoring it.
  4. Close the day (10 minutes). Write: "Today I have lived." Then three lines: one thing I did well; one thing I valued; one thing I would like to do if I am given tomorrow.
  5. In the morning (1 minute). When you wake, look at last night’s third line. Seneca calls the new day a "bonus"; use it for that.
  6. Tick it. At the end of the week, count the evenings you wrote; the goal is at least 5 of 7.

4. Kids' corner 6+

Game: "When I was little, and now" (5–10 minutes, with an adult)

  1. Look with the child at a photo from when they were very small (or at old clothes or shoes that no longer fit).
  2. Ask: "What could you do then? What can you do now?"
  3. Draw two pictures: "Me when I was little" and "Me now". If the child wants, add "Me when I am bigger".
  4. Finish with: "What fun thing did you do today?"

Talk only about growing up and what the child can do. Do not talk about old age, illness or death.

5. Stop practising if

  • You feel panic, have flashbacks of trauma, have a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", lose sleep for several nights, or have thoughts of harming yourself or of dying.
  • Thoughts about death keep returning during the day and are hard to put down, or the exercise brings back a loss that has not healed.
  • If you have a history of psychosis, bipolar disorder or severe PTSD, ask a doctor before practising for more than 20 minutes.
  • If so, stop and see Get help now.

6. Foundation skills on daynentang

If looking back on the day makes it hard to sleep, daynentang has a lesson on bedtime habits: Giấc ngủ (in Vietnamese).

7. Practice for today

This evening write: "Today I have lived." Then one thing you would like to do if you are given tomorrow.

Science sources

  • Pinquart M, Forstmeier S (2012). Effects of reminiscence interventions on psychosocial outcomes: a meta-analysis. Aging & Mental Health, 16(5), 541–558. doi:10.1080/13607863.2011.651434

Scripture sources

  • Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales) – Richard M. Gummere (Loeb, 1917–1925) (Public domain) · link