Convergence 0 – Week 2: Gratitude

Not yet trial-taught Not yet expert-reviewed

This week: read three short passages slowly, write three lines a day about what you have received from others, and give one specific thank-you to one person.

1. Traditional teaching

Week 1 practised pausing for one breath. This week uses that pause to notice what we have received. The three traditions below all value this, but they differ on whom we are grateful to, and what gratitude is for.

Buddhism: a grateful person is rare

[Traditional teaching] This tradition teaches that gratitude is a quality of a good person. Gratitude here has two parts: recognising the good someone has done for you, and responding to it.

A note on context: [Inference] The two people stand side by side: one does good first without waiting, the other recognises and returns that good. Elsewhere in the same collection (AN 2.32 in SuttaCentral's numbering), gratitude is called a quality of a true person. The Buddhist reviewer will say how this is commonly understood in their tradition.

Judaism: who is rich?

[Traditional teaching] Pirkei Avot (Sayings of the Fathers) is part of the Mishnah and collects short sayings of early teachers. In the passage below, Ben Zoma asks four questions and answers each with a verse from the Hebrew Bible.

A note on context: this week uses only the third question, "he who rejoices in his portion". [Inference] This is contentment with what one has, close to gratitude but not identical. The verse quoted (Psalm 128:2) and the closing words about "the world to come" show that this contentment sits within faith in God, not only as a psychological technique. The Jewish reviewer will say how this passage is usually read.

Stoicism: what I learned from whom

[Traditional teaching] The first book of the emperor Marcus Aurelius's Meditations is a list: from this person and that, what he learned or received. This tradition teaches looking at the good qualities of others in order to learn from them.

A note on context: "[I learned]" is in square brackets because the original has no verb; the translator George Long added it and noted that it is not certain which verb is meant. At the end of this book (section 17), Marcus thanks the gods for good grandparents, parents, teachers and friends. As noted in Week 1, ancient Stoicism was not a purely secular way of life.

Where the traditions differ

[Expert judgement] All three passages turn attention towards the good we have received. But they differ on these points:

This week borrows only one shared action: pausing to notice what you have received. You do not need to accept the beliefs of any tradition to do it, and the week should not be read as saying the three traditions are "really the same".

2. What science finds

The studies below are all randomised controlled trials. The exercises in them are usually a gratitude journal, a thank-you letter, or listing good things in the day, lasting from a few days to a few weeks.

• [Verified] A 2016 meta-analysis compared gratitude exercises with different kinds of control group. Compared with doing another activity (for example, writing down daily events), gratitude exercises increased well-being by a small amount. Compared with other positive psychology exercises, there was almost no difference. (Davis et al. 2016)
• [Verified] A 2021 meta-analysis of 27 studies with 3,675 people found that gratitude exercises reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety by a small amount: g = −0.29 right after the exercise and g = −0.23 at later follow-up. The reduction was smaller when compared with control groups that also did an activity. The authors advise people who want to reduce depression or anxiety to choose approaches with stronger evidence. (Cregg & Cheavens 2021)
• [Verified] A 2023 review gathered 64 randomised trials (33 were pooled). Most studies had a high risk of bias (no blinding, many people dropping out), and the certainty of the evidence was rated low or very low. (Diniz et al. 2023)
• [Inference] The effects are small, and part of them may come simply from doing a deliberate activity each day. This week's exercise is not identical to those in the studies, so we cannot say it will produce the same effects.

Limits: these figures are averages across many different studies and do not predict what will happen for any one person. Gratitude exercises do not replace treatment if you have a mental health problem.

3. Practice for adults

About 10 minutes a day in total, plus one thank-you during the day.

1. Read slowly (3 minutes). Choose one of the three passages above. Read it slowly twice, the second time quietly aloud. Stay with the sentence that stands out most clearly.
2. Pause (1 minute). As in Week 1: sit still, let the breath be natural, simply know "breathing in", "breathing out".
3. Write three lines (5 minutes). In the style of Marcus Aurelius's list, write three lines: "From , I received / learned ." The person can be family, a colleague, a stranger, or the author of a book. Be specific: "The woman at the food stall saved me the last portion" is clearer than "people are kind to me".
4. One line about your portion (1 minute). Write one thing you have today that you rarely notice, following Ben Zoma's question: "Who is rich?"
5. Thank one person during the day. Pick one line you wrote this week, then say or send a thank-you to that very person, saying clearly what they did and how it helped you. This is the "responding" part of AN 2.119.

At the end of the week, read back what you wrote. There is no need to score yourself or compare yourself with others.

Note: [Expert judgement] gratitude does not mean accepting wrongdoing or staying silent when someone has hurt you. If thinking about a particular person feels uncomfortable, choose someone else. Your list does not have to include family.

4. Kids' corner 6+

Game: "Who helped me today?" (5–10 minutes, with an adult playing too)

1. Adult and child sit together. Each person names three things in order: one person who helped them today, one thing in nature they liked (sunshine, a tree, rain, the neighbour's cat), and one thing their body can do (run, laugh, hug).
2. The adult goes first and is very specific, so the child has an example.
3. The child picks one person from the first round and draws a small thank-you card.
4. The next day, the child gives the card or says thank you to that person, with an adult if needed.

Do not judge what the child says as "right" or "not enough". Do not compare with siblings or friends, and do not say things like "you should be grateful because you have more than others". If the child gets bored, stop the game.

5. Stop practising if

• You feel panic, have flashbacks of trauma, have a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", lose sleep for several nights, or have thoughts of harming yourself.
• Listing things to be grateful for makes you feel guilty or blame yourself, such as "I have so much and I'm still sad". Sadness is not your fault, and this exercise is not meant to cover it up.
• If so, stop and see Get help now.
• If you have a history of psychosis, bipolar disorder or severe PTSD, ask a doctor before increasing sitting time beyond 20 minutes.

6. Foundation skills on daynentang

If a heavy feeling comes up while you write, daynentang has two 1–3 minute lessons, currently in Vietnamese only: Gọi tên cảm xúc, thở chậm (naming feelings, slow breathing) and Neo lại khi cảm xúc dâng cao (anchoring when emotions rise). Your browser's translate option can help.

7. Practice for today

Think of one person who helped you this week. Before you go to sleep, send them one line of thanks, saying clearly what they did.

Scientific sources

• Davis DE, et al. (2016). Thankful for the little things: A meta-analysis of gratitude interventions. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 63(1), 20–31. doi:10.1037/cou0000107
• Cregg DR, Cheavens JS (2021). Gratitude interventions: Effective self-help? A meta-analysis of the impact on symptoms of depression and anxiety. Journal of Happiness Studies, 22(1), 413–445. doi:10.1007/s10902-020-00236-6
• Diniz G, et al. (2023). The effects of gratitude interventions: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Einstein (São Paulo), 21, eRW0371. doi:10.31744/einstein_journal/2023RW0371