Stoicism 2 – Week 2: Not things, but our opinions of them

Not yet trial-taught Not yet expert-reviewed

This week: practise the discipline of judgement. Each day choose at least one situation that annoyed or saddened you, and split it into three parts: the event, your first thought, and another reading that is also reasonable.

Measurable goal: write down at least one situation a day in three columns, on at least 5 of 7 days.

1. Traditional teaching

[Traditional teaching] Stoicism teaches that what disturbs us is usually not the event itself, but what we think about it. That is why Epictetus’ third area of training is to examine a thought before accepting it.

In the discourse on the three topics (Week 1), Epictetus says the third topic keeps the other two safe:

Reading it in context

• [Expert judgement] "Blame ourselves—that is, our opinions" does not mean that a person who is harmed is at fault for the harm. Epictetus is speaking about our inner response, not saying the outside event is right. If someone is harming you, what is up to you is to protect yourself and find help.
• The last sentence names three stages: blaming others, blaming oneself, then blaming no one. The last stage is not indifference, but seeing the event clearly without adding an accusation.
• The example of death and Socrates only shows how an opinion creates fear. Death is the subject of Stoicism 3.
• An "appearance" (phantasia) is what shows up in the mind when we meet an event, as in Stoicism 1 and Convergence 0 – Week 1.

2. What science finds

• [Verified] A review of 20 meta-analyses of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) found it effective for anxiety, depression, chronic pain and substance use, about as effective as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). (Gloster et al. 2020)
• [Verified] A meta-analysis of 39 randomised trials (1,821 people) found ACT did better than control conditions (g = 0.57), with no clear difference from CBT. (A-Tjak et al. 2015)
• [Inference] CBT includes a step of separating the event from automatic thoughts, quite close to Encheiridion chapter V. But CBT and ACT are guided therapies over many weeks; their results do not prove that this 25-minute self-practice has the same effect.

Limits: this is reading and self-observation, not therapy. If negative thoughts already make it hard for you to work, sleep or get through the day, please see a professional.

3. Practice for adults

20–25 minutes a day in total.

1. Slow reading (3 minutes). Read the first passage. Underline the first sentence.
2. Catch a situation (during the day). When you feel annoyed, sad or worried, jot down a few words so you can remember it in the evening.
3. Three columns (15 minutes, evening). For each situation, write: - Event: what a camera would record, with no adjectives. For example: "My colleague has not answered my message since this morning." - First thought: what I told myself. For example: "He looks down on me." - Another reading: at least one other reasonable explanation. For example: "Maybe he is in meetings, or hasn’t read it yet."
4. Epictetus’ question (2 minutes). Reread the first thought and ask: "Is this the event, or my opinion about the event?"
5. Tick it. At the end of the week, count the days with at least one situation written down; the goal is at least 5 of 7.

You don’t have to force yourself to believe the other reading. The aim is only to see that the first thought is not necessarily the truth.

4. Kids' corner 6+

Game: "Two pairs of glasses" (5–10 minutes, with an adult)

1. The adult tells a small situation, for example: "Nam walked past and didn’t say hello to you."
2. Put on the "first glasses" (cup your hands around your eyes): "What do you think first?" (for example: "He’s angry with me.")
3. Switch to the "second glasses": "Could there be another reason?" (for example: "He didn’t see me", "He was in a hurry".)
4. Do 2–3 situations. Finally ask: "How could we find out for sure?" (for example: ask him.)

Choose light situations from school or home. Do not use bullying or tense family situations.

5. Stop practising if

• You feel panic, have flashbacks of trauma, have a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", lose sleep for several nights, or have thoughts of harming yourself.
• The exercise makes you blame yourself more ("it’s my way of thinking that’s at fault"). Then drop step 4 and keep only the "Event" column.
• The situation you write down involves violence, threats or exploitation. That is not something to "think about differently"; find help.
• If so, stop and see Get help now.

6. Foundation skills on daynentang

If feelings rise too fast to separate event from thought, daynentang has a lesson with a few short steps to calm down first: Anchoring when emotions run high (in Vietnamese).

7. Practice for today

Recall one moment of irritation today. Write one line describing the event, with no adjectives. Then write one other reading.

Science sources

• Gloster AT, Walder N, Levin ME, Twohig MP, Karekla M (2020). The empirical status of acceptance and commitment therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 18, 181–192. doi:10.1016/j.jcbs.2020.09.009
• A-Tjak JGL, Davis ML, Morina N, Powers MB, Smits JAJ, Emmelkamp PMG (2015). A meta-analysis of the efficacy of acceptance and commitment therapy for clinically relevant mental and physical health problems. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 84(1), 30–36. doi:10.1159/000365764