tamhonkhoe.comStoicism 1 – Week 4: Preparing the morning
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This week: each morning, read Marcus Aurelius’ "preparation" passage, think ahead to one or two situations that may annoy you that day, and choose your response in advance.
Measurable goal: read the morning preparation on at least 5 of 7 mornings.
1. Traditional teaching
[Traditional teaching] Stoicism teaches that human beings are made to live and work together, and that people who do wrong usually do so because they do not see what is good. So the practitioner prepares in the morning: knowing in advance that difficult people will be met, so as not to become angry or hateful when it happens. Marcus Aurelius (121–180), a Roman emperor, wrote the lines below in a private notebook addressed to himself, later known as the Meditations.
Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me; not [only] of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in [the same] intelligence and [the same] portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another, then, is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away.
The words in square brackets were added by the translator, George Long.
Reading it in context
- Marcus was writing to himself, not giving advice to others. As emperor, he met many people with conflicting interests every day.
- "Portion of the divinity" reflects the Stoic view that all people share in the reason of the universe. This course presents the exercise and does not ask learners to accept that view.
- [Expert judgement] The list "ungrateful, deceitful…" is not a way to label people we know. The heart of the passage is the second half: the wrongdoer is still akin to us, so we do not become angry or hateful, and we keep working with them. When you practise, you can think about situations that tend to annoy you rather than about people.
- "I can neither be injured" refers, in the Stoic view, to one’s inner character: others can take our property or our job, but cannot make us do wrong. It does not tell anyone to put up with abuse.
2. What science finds
- We have not found a peer-reviewed review that evaluates this kind of morning preparation as such.
- [Inference] Thinking ahead to a situation and choosing a response in advance resembles preparation skills used in cognitive behavioural therapy. That is an inference about similarity, not evidence that this exercise works.
- [Verified] A 2022 correlational study of 1,307 people found that a popular misreading of Stoicism (wanting to show fewer emotions and to feel less) went with lower well-being. (Karl et al. 2022) This week’s exercise is not about suppressing irritation: noticing you are annoyed is normal; what you practise is not letting the annoyance decide what you do.
Limits: the exercise rests on an ancient text and on practitioners’ experience; there is no direct scientific evidence for it yet.
3. Practice for adults
About 5 minutes in the morning and 1 minute at night.
- Read (2 minutes). Right after waking, before opening your phone, read the passage slowly once.
- Think ahead (2 minutes). Think of one or two situations today that might annoy you: a meeting, the school pick-up, a message that will arrive. Write one line for each.
- Choose a response (1 minute). For each situation, write one sentence: "If that happens, I will…" (for example: "take a breath and ask again to be clear").
- Tick it at night (1 minute). Tick whether you read the passage that morning and, if the situation came up, how you responded. No need to grade yourself.
At the end of the week, count the mornings you read it; the goal is at least 5 of 7.
4. Kids' corner 6+
Game: "A raincoat for moods" (5 minutes in the morning, with an adult)
- At breakfast, the adult asks: "What might make you a little annoyed today?" (for example: a sibling grabs a toy, having to stop playing to go to school).
- The adult shares one of their own first, so the child has an example.
- Together, think of a "raincoat": one small thing the child will do when it happens, like taking a breath, saying "let me finish this turn", or asking an adult for help.
- In the afternoon, ask: "Did you need your raincoat today?" Praise what the child tried, even if it did not work.
Pick light, everyday things. Do not discuss frightening topics or things the adults are stressed about.
5. Stop practising if
- You feel panic, have flashbacks of trauma, have a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", lose sleep for several nights, or have thoughts of harming yourself.
- Thinking ahead makes you more anxious before leaving home. Then just read the passage and skip the thinking-ahead step.
- The situation you foresee is being threatened or abused. Then what to prepare is finding someone to help, not practising not being angry.
- If so, stop and see Get help now.
6. Foundation skills on daynentang
If anger arrives faster than your morning plan, daynentang has a 1–3 minute lesson: Anchoring when emotions run high (in Vietnamese).
7. Practice for today
Think of the next person you will meet today. Before you meet, remind yourself: "We are made for co-operation."
Science sources
- Karl JA, Verhaeghen P, Aikman SN, Solem S, Lassen ER, Fischer R (2022). Misunderstood Stoicism: The negative association between Stoic ideology and well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 23(7), 3531–3547. doi:10.1007/s10902-022-00563-w
Scripture sources
- Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (Meditations) – George Long (Public domain) · link