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Stoicism 1 – Week 3: Suffering in imagination

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This week: read the passage from Seneca’s Letter 13 slowly; at the start of the week write down three worries and rate how likely they are; at the end of the week look at what actually happened.

Measurable goal: rate how likely three worries are during the week, and review all three at the end.

1. Traditional teaching

[Traditional teaching] Stoicism teaches that much of our suffering comes from how we think ahead about events, not from the events themselves. In this letter, Seneca praises Lucilius for standing firm against past trials, then offers a few more ways to stay steady, and admits he is speaking in a milder voice than the usual Stoic one.

There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. […] What I advise you to do is, not to be unhappy before the crisis comes; since it may be that the dangers before which you paled as if they were threatening you, will never come upon you; they certainly have not yet come. Accordingly, some things torment us more than they ought; some torment us before they ought; and some torment us when they ought not to torment us at all. We are in the habit of exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow.

Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales), Letter 13 "On groundless fears", Richard M. Gummere (Loeb, 1917–1925). Licence: Public domain.

Reading it in context

  • Seneca does not say every worry is unreasonable. He separates three kinds: suffering more than we ought, suffering before we ought, and suffering over what should not trouble us at all. Some worries are real and call for action.
  • In the part left out, Seneca says the Stoic manner is to treat everything that brings cries and groans as unimportant; he chooses to speak more gently to his friend. [Expert judgement] This shows that even an ancient Stoic did not demand that others suppress their feelings.
  • The rest of the letter discusses weighing a worry against the evidence. This week’s exercise is built on that idea.

2. What science finds

  • We have not found a peer-reviewed review that evaluates this exercise as such.
  • [Inference] Writing a worry down and comparing it with what actually happens resembles some techniques of cognitive behavioural therapy for anxiety. That is an inference about similarity. Cognitive behavioural therapy is done with a professional, as a full programme; this self-help exercise cannot replace it.

Limits: if anxiety lasts most of the day for weeks at a time, please see a professional rather than only practising on your own.

3. Practice for adults

About 15 minutes at the start of the week, 2 minutes a day, 10 minutes at the end.

  1. Read (3 minutes). Read the passage slowly twice. Note which of Seneca’s three kinds of suffering you meet most often.
  2. Three worries (10 minutes, start of the week). Write down three worries for the coming week. For each, note: (a) how likely it is to happen this week, from 0 to 100%; (b) if it does happen, one thing you can do; (c) which of Seneca’s three kinds it is.
  3. Re-read daily (2 minutes). Read the passage again. If the worry comes up, remind yourself: "It has not yet come."
  4. Look back (10 minutes, end of the week). For each worry: what actually happened? Was it heavier or lighter than you thought? Was the action in (b) useful?

The goal is to rate and review all three worries. You do not need to have guessed right.

4. Kids' corner 6+

Game: "Imagination clouds" (5–10 minutes, with an adult)

  1. Ask the child about one small thing they are a bit worried about this week (a spelling test, a first swimming lesson).
  2. The child draws the worry as a cloud, as big or small as it feels.
  3. Ask: "Has this happened yet?" and "If it happens, what could you do, or who could you ask?"
  4. At the end of the week, look at the drawing again: "Was the cloud as big as you thought?"

Do not brush the child’s worry aside as "silly". If the child is worried about something big or frightening, stop the game and listen.

5. Stop practising if

  • You feel panic, have flashbacks of trauma, have a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", lose sleep for several nights, or have thoughts of harming yourself.
  • Writing worries down makes you more anxious, or you start checking things over and over. Then stop this exercise.
  • Your worry is about a real danger (violence, threats, worsening health). Then what is needed is help, not practice at worrying less.
  • If so, stop and see Get help now.

6. Foundation skills on daynentang

daynentang has lessons on Worry and going round in circles and Solving problems step by step for worries that call for action (in Vietnamese).

7. Practice for today

Pick one worry you have right now. Write one sentence: "Has this happened yet?" and answer it honestly.

Scripture sources

  • Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales) – Richard M. Gummere (Loeb, 1917–1925) (Public domain) · link