Stoicism 1 – Week 1: Up to us, not up to us

Not yet trial-taught Not yet expert-reviewed

This week: read chapter 1 of the Manual (Enchiridion) slowly, spend 10–15 minutes a day sorting at least three worries into "up to me" and "not up to me", then pick one small thing that is up to you and do it.

Measurable goal: sort at least three worries a day, on at least 5 of 7 days.

1. Traditional teaching

[Traditional teaching] Stoicism teaches that to live calmly and freely, we must first see clearly what is in our power and what is not. Epictetus (about 50–135), who was once enslaved and later became a teacher of philosophy, puts this distinction in the very first line of the Manual his student recorded.

At the end of the chapter, Epictetus gives a daily exercise:

Reading it in context

• "The body" is on the "not in our power" list. [Inference] On the common reading, Epictetus is not telling us to neglect our health. He is saying that the final outcome (illness or health, a long life or not) is not wholly ours to decide, while how we care for the body and how we meet what happens are ours.
• "It does not concern you" does not mean being indifferent to other people. Ancient Stoics saw fulfilling one’s duties to family and community as part of virtue.
• In the middle of the chapter (not quoted here), Epictetus says that someone who confuses the two kinds of things will "blame both gods and men". Ancient Stoicism had its own view of the gods and of reason in the universe; this course presents the practice and does not ask learners to accept that view.
• [Expert judgement] In everyday English, "stoic" often means enduring silently or holding feelings in. That is not what this passage teaches: it is about seeing clearly what we can do, not about hiding emotions.

2. What science finds

• [Verified] A pre-registered study from 2022 surveyed 1,307 people in New Zealand, Norway and the US. The authors measured what they call "Stoic ideology", a popular but mistaken reading of Stoic philosophy: wanting to show fewer emotions and to feel less. This outlook went with lower well-being; the strongest links were for not expressing emotions and wanting to feel less. This is correlational: it does not tell us which causes which. (Karl et al. 2022)
• [Verified] A review of 20 meta-analyses on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) found it effective for anxiety, depression, chronic pain and substance use, on a par with cognitive behavioural therapy. (Gloster et al. 2020)
• [Inference] ACT includes accepting what cannot be changed and acting on what one values, which is close to Epictetus’ idea. But ACT is a guided therapy lasting many weeks; its results do not show that the 15-minute reading here has the same effect.
• We have not found a peer-reviewed review that evaluates Stoic practice programmes as such.

Limits: this is reading and self-observation, not therapy. If worry is already making it hard for you to work, sleep or get through the day, please see a professional.

3. Practice for adults

About 10–15 minutes a day.

1. Slow reading (3 minutes). Read the first passage twice, the second time softly aloud. Underline the one word that stands out most.
2. Write three worries (3 minutes). Write down three things that worry or annoy you today, one short line each.
3. Sort them (5 minutes). Draw two columns: "Up to me" and "Not up to me". Many worries have both parts, for example "my child does well in the exam": revising together is up to you, the mark is not. Then split the worry into two lines and put each in the right column.
4. Pick one action (2 minutes). From "Up to me", choose one small thing you can do today. For one line in "Not up to me", try saying Epictetus’ phrase quietly: "This is not in my power."
5. Tick the day. In the evening, tick whether you sorted three worries that day. At the end of the week, count the days; the goal is at least 5 of 7. There is no need to grade yourself.

4. Kids' corner 6+

Game: "Two baskets" (5–10 minutes, with an adult)

1. The adult writes or draws 6–8 cards, for example: "it rains", "I bring my raincoat", "my friend lends me a toy or not", "I ask politely to borrow it", "the team wins or loses", "I run as fast as I can".
2. Put out two baskets (or two sheets of paper): "I can do it" and "I can’t decide it".
3. The child picks each card and drops it in a basket. There are no wrong answers; the adult only asks "Why do you think so?"
4. To finish, take one card from "I can’t decide it" and think together: "So what can I do?" (it rains → bring a raincoat).

Use light, familiar situations. Do not use illness, family tension or frightening topics. If the child gets bored, stop.

5. Stop practising if

• You feel panic, have flashbacks of trauma, have a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", lose sleep for several nights, or have thoughts of harming yourself.
• The exercise makes you go over a worry more than before. Then drop to one worry a day, or pause.
• "Not up to me" does not mean you must put up with it. If you are facing violence, threats or exploitation, what is up to you is to find someone who can help.
• If so, stop and see Get help now.

6. Foundation skills on daynentang

If a worry keeps circling in your head, daynentang has a lesson with short steps for stepping out of the loop: Worry and going round in circles (in Vietnamese).

7. Practice for today

Pick your biggest worry right now. Write down the part of it that is up to you, and do that part before you go to bed.

Science sources

• Karl JA, Verhaeghen P, Aikman SN, Solem S, Lassen ER, Fischer R (2022). Misunderstood Stoicism: The negative association between Stoic ideology and well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 23(7), 3531–3547. doi:10.1007/s10902-022-00563-w
• Gloster AT, Walder N, Levin ME, Twohig MP, Karekla M (2020). The empirical status of acceptance and commitment therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 18, 181–192. doi:10.1016/j.jcbs.2020.09.009