Convergence 1 – Week 12: Giving and review

Not yet trial-taught Not yet expert-reviewed

This week: read three short passages slowly, give something once within your means, and at the end of the week re-rate all 12 habits you have practised.

Measurable goal: give once in the week; rate the 12 habits from 0 to 10 and choose one or two to keep.

1. Traditional teaching

Week 6 practised helping without waiting for a return. The last week of Convergence 1 looks at giving what we have: time, belongings, money, honest words. The three traditions below all teach giving, but set it within three different frameworks of belief.

Buddhism: overcome stinginess with giving

[Traditional teaching] Verses 223–224 of the Dhammapada sit in the chapter on anger. This tradition teaches that giving (dāna) is a way of letting go of stinginess and clinging, and a good deed that brings merit.

A note on context: [Inference] "The presence of the gods" relates to Buddhist beliefs about realms of rebirth: good deeds lead to a good future life. In this tradition giving is also seen as a first step on the path of letting go, not only as a way of helping others.

Islam: a grain that grows seven ears

[Traditional teaching] Verse 261 of chapter 2 uses the image of a grain to describe those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah. This tradition teaches that wealth belongs to Allah and people only hold it in trust, and that He multiplies what is given.

A note on context: Pickthall's rendering is one interpretation of the meaning; Muslims generally regard only the Arabic as the Qur'an itself. [Expert judgement] Islam distinguishes zakat, an obligation at a fixed rate for those who qualify, from sadaqah, voluntary giving. The next verse (2:262) teaches that givers must not remind others of their generosity or hurt the recipient. The Muslim reviewer will give the details.

Judaism: "what is mine is thine and what is thine is thine"

[Traditional teaching] Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) is part of the Mishnah and collects ethical sayings. Chapter 5 has many sayings of the form "there are four kinds of people". This tradition teaches that how we treat property, ours and others', shows our character.

A note on context: Gorfinkle numbers these sections 13 and 16; many other editions (for example on Sefaria) number them 5:10 and 5:13. Gorfinkle's notes explain: the "mine is mine" person neither gives nor takes; the boor does not respect the rights of property; the one who gives but does not want others to give does not want neighbours to be blessed for their generosity. [Expert judgement] The Hebrew word for charitable giving, tzedakah, comes from a root meaning "justice, righteousness". The Jewish reviewer will say how it is commonly read.

Where the traditions differ

[Expert judgement] All three teach giving. But they differ on these points:

This week borrows only one shared action: giving once, within your means. You do not need to accept the beliefs of any tradition to do it, and the week should not be read as saying the three traditions are "really the same".

2. What science finds

• [Verified] The 2018 meta-analysis cited in Weeks 3 and 6 (27 experiments, 4,045 people): doing kind acts for others raised the well-being of the person doing them by a small-to-moderate amount; the studies were often small. (Curry et al. 2018)
• [Verified] A 2008 paper in three parts: a survey (people who spent more on others were happier), a follow-up of people receiving a bonus, and a randomised experiment: people assigned to spend money on others felt happier than those assigned to spend it on themselves. (Dunn, Aknin & Norton 2008)
• [Inference] The survey part is a correlation. These are the results of one research group; be careful about generalising.

Limits: the figures are averages across many different studies and do not predict what will happen for any one person. Giving does not replace treatment if you have a mental health problem.

3. Practice for adults

About 10 minutes a day, plus one act of giving in the week and 15 minutes of review at the end.

1. Read slowly (3 minutes). Choose one of the three passages. Read it slowly twice, the second time quietly aloud.
2. Sit still (2 minutes). Know the breath going in and out.
3. Give once in the week. Choose something within your means: give away something still in good condition, make a small contribution to a cause you trust, spend an afternoon with someone who needs it, or, as Dhp 224 says, "give when asked, if only a little".
4. Note it (2–3 minutes, evening). One line: "Today I gave . When I gave, I felt ."
5. Review the 12 habits (end of week, 15 minutes). Read your notes from Week 1 onwards. Rate each habit from 0 to 10: "How far am I living this habit?"

Choose one or two habits to keep over the next month. There is no need to keep all twelve.

Note: [Expert judgement] giving within your means means not giving away money or time that you and your family need, and not giving because you are pressured or afraid of offending. A low score in the table is not a failure; it only shows where you might begin.

4. Kids' corner 6+

Game: "A small gift" (5–10 minutes, with an adult playing too)

1. Adult and child choose someone to give a gift to: grandparents, a teacher, the building guard, a younger child.
2. The child chooses how to give: draw a card, or pick a toy in good condition that they want to give away.
3. The child and adult take the gift together.
4. In the evening, the adult asks: "How did you feel when you gave the gift?"

Do not make the child give away a toy they still treasure. A drawn card is a complete gift. Do not reward with food or money. If the child gets bored, stop the game.

daynentang also has a lesson, Thanking working people (in Vietnamese), for families with children aged 2–8.

5. Stop practising if

• You feel panic, have flashbacks of trauma, have a lasting sense that you or the world are "not real", lose sleep for several nights, or have thoughts of harming yourself.
• Giving leaves you short, worried about money, or guilty for keeping what you need.
• The review table makes you blame yourself heavily.
• If so, stop and see Get help now.
• If you have a history of psychosis, bipolar disorder or severe PTSD, ask a doctor before increasing sitting time beyond 20 minutes.

6. Foundation skills on daynentang

daynentang has a lesson, Cả nhà giúp cộng đồng (the whole family helps the community), on choosing community help that suits the whole family. It is currently in Vietnamese only; your browser's translate option can help.

7. Practice for today

Look around your home, pick one thing in good condition that you no longer use, and think about who might need it.

After Convergence 1

If you want to go deeper into one tradition, see the list of courses. The course Stoicism 1: What is in our power has all 6 weeks.

Scientific sources

• Curry OS, et al. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320–329. Article page
• Dunn EW, Aknin LB, Norton MI (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687–1688. doi:10.1126/science.1150952